as i have said before, last year i think went through a minor case of anorexia or some kind of eating disorder. i've recently gained a ton of weight back...it began with getting on heather's diet and really kicked in when i started birth control. i'm kinda freaking out about it because i've gained well over 10 pounds in the matter of 2 months. i started exercising and eating better last week but fell back into my bad routine of overeating. i know it's not unusual for people recovering from eating disorders to tend to overeat as a form of compensation but it really sucks and i'm trying really hard to get over it. i can't fit into any of my clothes anymore and i'd hate to buy a new wardrobe. and it's so hard hard thinking about/seeing pics from when i was so petite and then seeing myself now. i know i'm not fat but i'm afraid of how long this overeating will continue. i'm also thinking that it's a subconscious emotional thing...i'm in australia right now studying, very far from my bf in houston, i've read that overeating can be a way to fill a void...maybe i'm trying to fill that void. i don't really know, but it sucks and i hate this behavior but i can't seem to stop! i told myself that it's okay and i'll lose it eventually but for now i should be happy that i'm not in this awful cycle of obsessing over what i eat and how little/healthy i should eat because when i think about it, that was a miserable way to live life. but now i'm in australia and in a swimsuit all the time (even a wetsuit last weekend ) so i just wish i could be as confident in my body as i was at the beginning of the summer! ack! i don't know what i'm looking for, but it just feels better to write things down. thanks for listenin
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frustrated, sad, stupid weight ugh!
) so i just wish i could be as confident in my body as i was at the beginning of the summer! ack! i don't know what i'm looking for, but it just feels better to write things down. thanks for listenin 
