I wish I coud put into words how this post makes me feel! Imagine me hugging you tight and crying with you - that is what I feel right now.
When I read this I see someone who is very brave and very strong. Because you are open and honest with your feelings and you keep on coming back for answers even when none have seemed to help... you are NOT a flunkie!!!!!!!!!!!! It is just clear that something besides just diet is going on with you, that's all, because otherwise surely something would have helped you by now. That doesn't mean you stop trying to alter your diet but your doctor should for sure be looking at other things - what, I don't know, I have no idea, but you've sure done your part!
No matter what, you are not alone. I have no idea why this particular path in your life is so dark and long and hard, I've been down some like that and they seem to last FOREVER and I've thought there's no way I'll ever get through this or feel good again or happy or hopeful again. But it DOES PASS!! And you just keep having hope that it WILL PASS for you too and there is "BETTER" ahead! If you've lost faith in that, than borrow some of mine, because I believe it and continue to pray it for you. In the meantime I can only trust that the One who loves you more than I do has some purpose for this rocky road you are on - this is a broken world we live in, He does not ever desire that we should suffer, but He does promise to ALWAYS work it out for the good of those who love Him, so somewhere up the road that "good" is ahead and I do trust that, even though I don't claim to understand it.
Big big hugs....it's good to hear from you. I know I'm AWOL most of the time now but I've not forgotten you, my friend!
-------------------- Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)