Oh Bethie. I am sorry things have been so rough for you over the past 10 months. I really do not know what to say I think it may be wise to see a therapist just to have someone to talk to. Or if not a therapist then maybe a priest or member of the clergy. I know what it is like to feel like you are feeling right now. At this same time last year I had horrible cramping and D just about every other day. What a nightmare! Just have faith Beth and keep trying to find an answer. In the meantime, keep talking to us here, ok? I will be praying for you.