Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: I have a secret and it scares me.....

I used to do this. I broke a hairbrush, punched my sister, tried to strangle my parakeet...I slammed the doors in our house so hard I would trap myself in my bedroom or the bathroom because the door would jam...I knocked the kitchen clock off the wall and it broke.... I also hurt myself--I would bang my head, pull out my hair, bite my hands, slap my thighs, cut my fingernails so short they bled. This started with puberty and only gradually stopped (I'm 21 now).

Several years ago (has it been that long?!) I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I've been on medication for over a year now. The medication has dreadful side effects but compared to the depression I was going through, this is certainly livable! I've also been in therapy on and off for six years and I'm currently looking for a new therapist (well, I have one, but her receptionist apparently doesn't answer the phone!!!).

You've already done the hardest thing--you've admitted that you're scared and need help. Now you can look for a therapist and possibly try out medication, both of which can really help. Trust me.

I'd say I still have some anger problems, not that I get angry and lash out, but mostly that, growing up, my dad, who is also bipolar, would really lose it and break things and yell, and I HATE that he did that, and that he still does sometimes. But I'm not where I was a few years ago, or last year, or even a few months ago. Things will get better.

Feel free to e-mail me--my address is in my profile.

By the way, IBS is more common in people with bipolar disorder than in the general population, just FYI.

Good luck.

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