.....that you know that I don't believe this is a "character" issue. Based on my personal experience, this sounds like it may be related to a "mood disorder" which, from what I understand, has its roots in a chemical imbalance --- which can be corrected with meds. The chemical imbalance, from what I understand, can make one vulnerable to the type of feelings and resulting behaviors you've been experiencing - and the triggers may be relationships or life situations.
Just wanted to encourage you to look at this in the same light as a broken leg - it's not your fault, but you do need some professional help to "mend". If you have a good, trustworthy, caring primary care physician, this, too, may be a good place to start, especially if you're not sure where else to turn. I have a three-person "team" of "professionals" : my primary care doc writes the prescriptions when I need something and I get counseling from someone else - depression and panic disorder with agoraphobia have been my issues (and anger was part of it, too - I've done some dish-breaking - not a good feeling to feel so out of control, so I can really empathize). The third person is the Wonderful Counselor, the Great Physician, the Healer - God Himself. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it is to unburden myself to the Lord. Christ has become my Shield and my Refuge, my Hiding Place... He is my Firm Foundation - and He will be that for you - perhaps He already is! If not, He's just a prayer away!
Anyway, dear one, just wanted to log back on and get this down before I turn in.... you'll be in my prayers tonight.
May God bless you, Kaybee C
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|