Steph,
I am so sorry that you are having such a horrible day   !!! No body really understands IBS.... unless they have it......I know that your mom is struggling with her health, but she really needs you to be at your best....which means staying home and taking care of yourself (resting, relaxing, eating right, being close to a bathroom......) We really are not very good at helping others when we are not feeling our best!! That anxiety stuff that we experience when we are D, and needing to know where the bathroom is.....it is horrible!!!! Major panic attacks when we have a little rumble.... not knowing if it is just gas AAAAHHHHHRRRRGGGG!!!!! And sometimes just being with people makes it worse because you feel like you need to explain, and you feel wierd, and nobody really likes talking about their bodily functions and how they are not working correctly at the moment, and then it will take longer to get to the bathroom because you are trying to be polite and not just disapear without explanation of where you are going, and if you have to go again ---OMGosh, this causes more stress and anxiety..........sorry, I guess I got carried away 
Back to your mom.....You are her daughter, but you are not her keeper. She really needs to depend more on your dad, her soulmate, and partner in life (I am assuming that he is healthy).....but even if he has health issues, your parents are committed to each other.... for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I don't feel it is right for your mom to expect so much out of you, when you are not at your best. I know it is hard to say no to family......but nobody can take care of you, like you can.....So you need to take care of you first..... and then check on mom -- be the best you can be for YOU, and then for her. I know this may sound selfish, but it really works for me if I live by this.
I don't know how old your mom is, but I am 42. I have a 17 and 15 year old (stress city during these teenage years  ). I know from experience that if I don't take care of me, nobody will. My family doesn't get IBS.....but they are getting better. My mom had it, and I didn't understand until I started having it. I pray that my kids won't have to go through this!! And I pray that your IBS will settle down so you can be the person you want to be and the person God created you to be 
Blessings
Rosey
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