Thanks to all of you for your thoughts and prayers. I'm back, not because I want to be, but because I felt "compelled" to. Maybe this was the power of your prayers.
I feel so stupid. I can't even be successful at running away! I had my suitcase packed and notes written to my family, but after realizing I had an important doctor's appointment in the morning and a birthday luncheon to go to tomorrow, I knew I couldn't just disappear! I went to Borders book store and read awhile, fully intending to check into a hotel for several days. A friend and her daughter came by and asked if I was coming to the luncheon tomorrow and my son called me on the cell phone to ask me a question and I was jolted back into reality. As much as I desperately wanted to run, I knew that was not the answer to escaping the pain I was feeling. All of a sudden I felt this incredible urge to see my boys again, and I was ashamed that I was leaving them. So I'm back. Whoever heard of a 44-year-old mother who runs away? Its sounds as crazy as I felt. I can laugh about it now, but it wasn't funny then. As most of you know I have manic depression and normally on my medication I don't hit those low, low points, but today, it scared me because I did.
Thank you again. All of you are so sweet, and I don't know what I'd do without you!
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