Hi Rachel,
You know, I can see both sides here.
I can SOOOO understand your disappointment in your friend. You expect her to be much more supportive, because she IS your friend. I understand that all too well. HOWEVER, you also need to realize that she doesn't have IBS and doesn't understand it. She's like soooooo many other people; we hear this all the time, don't we?
Your friend might also be a lot like me -- people-pleasers who are scared to death of "rocking the boat" for fear that others will think of them as (sorry folks) BITCHES. While this may sound sexist, it's true: if men speak out for what they want, they're considered "dynamic." When women speak out, they're just bitches. I saw this all the time in all the law firms where I worked the past 40 years. Men lawyers were forthright; women lawyers were bitches, all of 'em. I SOOO hope this has changed since I've retired!
But back to you: I give you a lot of credit for not only standing up for what you wanted (rice on the side, and damn the torpedos!), but for doing it politely, despite the feelings you were stifling inside. That shows a lot of maturity and self-control. Good for you!
Either you're gonna have to sit down with your friend and CALMY discuss your situation with her, explaining your IBS, or you're gonna have to just drop it and never discuss your pain around her again. It really all boils down to how close you are with your friend and how much you want to maintain your friendship with her.
Good luck -- and keep us posted!
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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