Re: I'm sorry, but my mom sucks!
02/25/05 09:22 PM
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ptillen
Reged: 06/27/04
Posts: 406
Loc: Milwaukee WI
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Wow, you're getting to sound more like me all the time (or is it that I'm like you?). My relationship with my mother has been the bane of my adult life. Everyone around her thinks she's the sweetest, kindest woman- except me! She'll bend over backward for anyone else, but seems incapable of kindness or support to her daughter.
When I left my first husband, (a weak loser) the only thing she thought to say was "Gee, I always thought you were doing OK, I mean, he didn't beat you."
Then when I started dating again she said "Oh, Paula, not another one." 
When I lost 25 pounds she didn't say a word. When I put it back on, she said, "Well, you have had some weight fluctuations, haven't you?"
She has refused for decades to come to any show, any concert, any performance of any sort that I've done. When I finally mentioned that I found this rather hurtful, she told me to get over it.
The coup de grace came when I married my now-husband. We had our wedding in our home, in December of 1996. Because of snow and other exigencies, our friend, a Lutheran pastor, who was to perform the ceremony, was rather late, so of course the ceremony was delayed. Well, my parents decided it was past their bedtime and they couldn't stay to see their daughter get married. So they left.
The next morning my mother called and said, "Well. Are you married or not?"
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
My husband (a very wise man) had advised me to give up on seeking any sort of emotional support from my family. Respect them, love them even, but expect nothing from them, because they're incapable of giving it. And to get the support I need from my circle of friends (of which I have some very nice ones.)
I now pass that advice on to you.
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