Reged: 07/10/04
Posts: 1176
Loc: Manhattan, New York
Ruchie...you are so sweet. what a pure soul!! :-) Thank you for your advice and love! :-) Unfortunately I have tackled my dad on these issues and well....I am told to not discuss it instead of it being a forum for open and challenging interpretation. its so weird...my dad is so open about political discussion etc...he encourages it...but we CANNOT critisise him...nobody can...my mum tells him something about his weight and he tells her that she's not looking too hot herself (she looks great and does a hell of a lot of walking etc). very very very immature when it comes to these things. the thing that really makes me cry is this: that I really respect my father, but since these issues arose I respect him less, because I feel he is truly being a hypocrite. I would love to be able to tell him that...NOT in order to critisise, but in order to be honest and true. I completely lost control this morning...as soon as my father left the apartment I burst into tears (I can communicate openly with her) and started throwing away ANYTHING remotely sweet in the house, into the bin. I then went to the fridge and threw the carrot cake I had made on the floor and stamped on it!! It probably looked quite funny but I was totally enraged. I really reached my limit. My home is a haven I have waited a long time for. As I grew into a woman I became quite different from my parents and brothers. They are all closed about communication, I am very open. I like everything on the table, because I believe it is the only way that resentment is NOT fostered in human relationships...and that progress can only be made this way. I think honesty is one of the most important principles in the world. and to actively tell a person they must never discuss something again, as my father did with me that time, is to put a stamp on dihonesty as something acceptable. its passive dishonesty, but its still dishonesty. So for ages I lived in this home where the priorities were not the same as mine in many ways, and I was the only one with a chronic illness that had everyday symptoms. I dreamed long and hard for a day when I would have my own home and my own way of doing things. and I really think the thing that made me so angry was that the very thing my father had shut me up about was happening in MY home. I want my parents to be very comfortable here, but not at the expense of this big worry that creeps into my soul when I see him eating like that...its not fair to me. But I really want to be respectful and not lectury to him and to my mum too. its a hard balance to strike. I just found it disrespectful. I am sorry I haven't replied to our email yet...:-( its been so busy...I will get to it soon, my parents are leaving tomorrow afternoon. its been a really good stay overall...apart from the heart attack food situation!! :-) Thanks so much, you are an angel...lots of love XXXX
-------------------- Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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Re: ((((((((((((((((((((((((((DALIA)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
