Hi DaliaTree,
You're not a bad daughter, you're a loving, concerned daughter who wants the best for her family.
I don't know why us old folks insist on doing things that aren't good for us, but sometimes we have a bad attitude; it's like, "Oh, S***, I don't have much longer in this life, so I'm gonna have my beloved coffee, and damn the torpedos!" Then, we end up with severe cramps and Big D.
No one can tell us otherwise. We know we're wrong, and we DO care, but we seem to have lost the impetus that we had as youngsters, with our whole lives ahead of us.
Really, all you can do for your loved ones is love them. You can't control their actions. You're a wonderful daughter who cares, but don't let that cause you to do or say anything you may later regret. Here's my story that I hope will help you -- I'll make it as short as I can.
In 1963, my family was still alive. My mother was not a nice person, but my grandmother was wonderful, and I loved her dearly. She had diabetes and did not take care of herself. She ended up in the hospital, and the doctor told my mother that she needed 24/7 care, that she had an embolism on her heart, and when it pooped she would die. It was crucial that she lose weight, and he gave my mother a diet to put my grandmother on.
My grandmother moved in with us; she had the room across the hall from me. I heard her every night crying to God, "Please, Lord, take me." It broke my heart.
My mother put her on the doctor's diet and was very strict with her; my grandmother lost a lot of weight, and I was hopeful it would extend her life. Unfortunately, she was extremely hungry, and one night I caught her "stealing" a slice of bread from the bread box. I lost it, totally lost it. I ranted and raved at her, yelling horrible things, like, "My mother is doing her best to try to keep you alive, and this is how you repay her?! How DARE you!"
Those were the last words I said to my grandmother. She died that week in my mother's arms, while I was at work.
My last words to her haunt me to this day.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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