Reged: 07/10/04
Posts: 1176
Loc: Manhattan, New York
hey everyone - sorry I haven't been around - parents are visiting from the uk and been really busy. had a bit of a blow up this morning. its a long story but I'll try to cut it short - my father developed angina (heart disease) two and a bit years ago - stress and very bad lifetsyle (loads of junk food, smoking, high sugar, high sat fat, high red meat and processed foods etc). when he was hospitalised he swore to mend his ways and 'do what it takes' to restore health. he tried in the beginning and lost lots of weight...I went away travelling for nine months and returned to my original overwight father with not that many changes around any more. smoking had stopped and so had butter - but thats really it. I tackled him about it after I had seen 2 months of behaviour - I realised my dad is sensitive so I said very gentle things - I just mentioned taking more exercise - not even teh food!! he flipped out and we didn't speak for days 'how dare a daughter tell me what to do' (my dad is very sweet, but God forbid you try and tell him something is wrong personally with him - very arrogant in that way). so after that argument I swore to myself I would never say anything again - no matter what. that was a year a half ago almost. my parents are now staying in my apartment in NY - we moved in with my in laws for the duration of their stay. they brought chocolate mints with them. they brought pepsi. I baked healthy cakes (heathers - low sat fat etc). but still, on top of eating the cakes and cookies I made, my dad kept eating the junk and if we went to restaurants, eating the red meat options. he is still overweight. and his portions huge. finally last night he came back with a box of entemmens chocolate chip cookies. I put them on the top shelf hoping he wouldn't find them, but when I came in this morning they were half eaten!!! he asked me what was wrong because I was holding in tears and I just burst into tears and said 'I can't have these cookies in my house - its against my philosophy' (I am a nutritionist student and a naturopath and HATE huge junk food companies - I think they are responsible for a lot of disease in our lives and they only care about profit). I burst into tears. My father went out for a walk and I totally flipped out as he left. I threw out the left over chocolates they had brought...i threw out the cookies and cakes I had baked because I felt sooo rejected too. My dad always likes to eat things made by huge companies instead of stuff cooked with love by his daughter. I threw out the hard yellow heart attack cheese. I was screaming and crying. I really lost it. I just said to my mum that it reaches a point where I think it is just disrespectful. that they come to stay under my roof and why should have to watch in my own house, my own father, eat his way to a shorter life. its not fair. they KNOW I am sensitive about it. can he not go ONE week without eating something utterly junky? would it KILL him??? and another thing that really hurts is that they have watched me struggle from diet to diet, from restriction to restriction, for ten years already - doesn't that make him realise how LUCKY he is that he lived 61 years before even a HINT of bad health??? WISH heart disease had acute symptoms too, instead of just building up so scarily and then boom, angina if you're lucky and heart attack and death if you're not. my father is a religious Jew and believes in balance in life - but he is SO imbalanced when it comes to eating. I was brought up on junk. I find it hypocritical - I could never say that to him. you simply cannot critisise him. when he came home from his walk today he told my mum 'you are getting chubby aren't you?'...just a tit for tat thing...so immature. phew...thanks...that feels better...I don't want to argue when we are here but how much can I take???? Am I being unreasonable??? I love you all XXXXXXXXXxx
-------------------- Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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bad daughter???
