My husband cannot do everything we used to do. But, he has a wheelchair now, so we use that when we want to go to a movie or the zoo or any place that would require walking. There are times when just sitting will hurt him, but we try to adjust to his needs, where ever we're at. Ask your doctor for a handicap parking deal. It really does help a lot.
This whole thing has been a transition in process for us. Rick slowly gave in to using a cane, and then he eventually went to a wheelchair, with the cane as a supplement. It takes time to have everything happen and learn what you'll need. Be patient, and keep going. It will all fall into place.
We aren't confined to the house, but we won't go to places that might be hard to get around in with a wheelchair. We can't go for walks together anymore and there's a lot of things he just can't do. When we go shopping at Wal-Mart, he uses their electric chairs to get around. When we go to the store together, he sits up in the front, while I do the shopping. We've had to change how we do things. It's harder now to do anything, but I'd rather have it like this; than not have my husband at all. So, the answer to your question. Yes, we stay home more. But, we don't miss out on what we really want to do and we still try to have fun.
Eventually, this will all work out for you. I'm glad your husband went with you to the doctor. I agree that helps. It helped me to see what my husband was really going through. I had a hard time accepting it at first and just didn't want to believe it. I remember expecting him to keep doing what he'd always done. Oh, yes, I just refused to believe he couldn't do it. Just don't push yourself beyond what you feel comfortable with and eventually your husband will learn to accept your chronic condition and help you. Going to the doctor with you is a good idea!
I don't always do things I want to do, because I won't risk hurting my husband just so I can satisfy myself. In other words, if it were to hurt his feelings for me to go play a round of golf, then I won't do it. I know that's not a popular attitude these days, but I can't help it. That's how close we are to each other now. He's the same way with me!
We have found that each day for Rick is a new day. He has good and bad days. Some are almost pain free, and others are tough. But, since getting past the initial shock of it all we have now eased into our new life.
Please don't apologize for "whining". Believe me, bl, I KNOW you're not whining at all. You're scared, in shock, and trying to sort all of this out. Talking is wonderful therapy and I will be here to help you any way I can. You know what? It helps me, too.
I haven't found anybody else who really understands what this can do to your life. Those closest to us often seem to think it's not as bad as it is. Afterall, a backache doesn't sound so bad, does it? Ha!!! It can be so debilitating and excruciating for the one suffering.
So, you just keep talking all you want. I've got time to listen to you everyday and I want to. Been there, doing that!
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