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Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
02/15/05 12:07 PM

ptillen

Reged: 06/27/04
Posts: 406
Loc: Milwaukee WI

Try reading your previous post (the story) as if it was someone else's story. Often I find this little technique does wonders for clarity.
I'm hesitant to say it, but it seems really obvious that it's time to screw your courage to the sticking place and get out. I mean, listen to this as if it was someone else:

Quote:

I don't want to spend another 10 years with him -- no way!

If anyone else said that to you, your advice would be, of course, cut the cords now, no matter how difficult.
I've been there and done this with someone I was with for 7 years. It was apparent that it couldn't possibly work, apparent not just to me, but to everyone else, except him. He had "kinda worked on" some things, which made me keep hanging on to hope that there would be improvement, but in the end I had to realize that there was no more I could do for him and I had to take care of myself. My life was slipping away!
So here's what happened- for a long time I watched many of my girlfriends get married, buy houses, have kids, and I thought, howcome I don't get to have that? Here I am stuck with this loser who's never gonna get a life. And then one night (I'm not much on "hearing voices", but I swear to God this happened!) I heard this voice that said, "You can have that stuff too, you just have to go get it."
So I did.
What I had to do was make absolutely sure I'd done everything I could before I walked away- and when I walked away, like you, I never saw him again. Which is really sad. I'm someone who prefers a much more rational approach to breakups, and I'm very cordial with every "X" I've ever had, except this one.
But if that can't happen, it can't happen, and you can't forestall taking care of your needs too much longer.
You know what you need to do! Now do it!

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Entire thread

Tina
Kimm
02/15/05 10:55 AM

THANK YOU, EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!! You guys ROCK!
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 09:37 AM

I'm late too...

02/16/05 03:52 PM

Re: I'm late too...
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 04:03 PM

Sorry for the Late response ......
Natalie1985
02/16/05 10:20 AM

Re: Sorry for the Late response ......
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 10:41 AM

My boy troubles......
Natalie1985
02/16/05 12:58 PM

Re: My boy troubles......
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 01:16 PM

Re: My boy troubles......
cailin
02/16/05 02:31 PM

Thanks guys.....
Natalie1985
02/16/05 04:04 PM

Natalie
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 04:09 PM

tina
cailin
02/16/05 02:43 PM

Re: tina
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 03:24 PM

Re: Sorry for the Late response ......
Luther Maze
02/16/05 11:35 AM

Re: Sorry for the Late response ......
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 12:11 PM

Tina, we love and care about ya soo much....
Snow for Sarala
02/16/05 09:34 AM

Tina, hope everything works out for the best. Thinking of you. --nt--
BL
02/16/05 08:51 AM

You've gotten a lot of feedback already, but..
Augie
02/15/05 07:08 PM

Re: Tina, its YOUR heart....
gigi
02/16/05 09:43 AM

Re: Tina, its YOUR heart....
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 10:00 AM

Re: Tina, its YOUR heart....
gigi
02/16/05 07:45 PM

Re: Tina, its YOUR heart....
Sara-Sage
02/17/05 03:51 AM

Re: Tina, its YOUR heart....
Luther Maze
02/17/05 06:59 AM

Beth
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 02:13 AM

HI Sara
Harmony
02/16/05 09:26 AM

I was thinking the same thing...
Augie
02/16/05 07:15 AM

Re: I was thinking the same thing...
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 07:46 AM

Tina. So much to say but..
doubletrouble
02/15/05 06:43 PM

Re: Tina. So much to say but..
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 02:15 AM

Re: Tina
Dr. Spice Yamin
02/15/05 06:22 PM

Re: Tina
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 02:18 AM

Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 11:53 AM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
TommyNY
02/16/05 08:49 AM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 09:24 AM

Tommy, you give the best advice!
Snow for Sarala
02/16/05 08:51 AM

Re: Tommy, you give the best advice!
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 09:24 AM

Re: Tommy, you give the best advice!
TommyNY
02/16/05 08:59 AM

Awww, thanks! n-t
Snow for Sarala
02/16/05 09:02 AM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
Niesan
02/16/05 04:49 AM

Angie
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 07:53 AM

And if he can't, too bad for him! n-t
Snow for Sarala
02/16/05 08:46 AM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
Niesan
02/15/05 07:32 PM

Angie00
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 02:23 AM

Re: Angie00
Snow for Sarala
02/16/05 07:36 AM

Ruchie
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 07:55 AM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
jenniferlynn
02/15/05 04:50 PM

jenniferlynn
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 05:07 PM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 04:53 PM

From The Other Side
Bevvy
02/15/05 04:20 PM

Re: From The Other Side
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 05:12 PM

Re: Great new pic Bev!
LittleLisa
02/15/05 04:26 PM

Whenit comes to germs...
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 04:38 PM

Re: Whenit comes to germs...
LittleLisa
02/15/05 04:43 PM

Re: Whenit comes to germs...
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 05:05 PM

Re: Whenit comes to germs...
LittleLisa
02/16/05 06:09 PM

Re: Whenit comes to germs...
Snow for Sarala
02/16/05 08:44 PM

Thanks Lisa!
Bevvy
02/15/05 04:30 PM

Re: Slapped? I think...
LittleLisa
02/15/05 04:35 PM

Re: Slapped? I think...
Nelly
02/15/05 04:39 PM

Re: Oh really?
LittleLisa
02/15/05 04:45 PM

Hi Tina
Stephie
02/15/05 01:32 PM

Steph
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 03:28 PM

Re: Steph
Yoda (formerly Hans)
02/15/05 04:06 PM

OMG!!!
Stephie
02/15/05 03:31 PM

Re: OMG!!!
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 04:11 PM

Hmm...
Stephie
02/15/05 06:17 PM

Re: Hmm...
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 02:34 AM

Not a laughing matter...
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 04:21 PM

Re: Not a laughing matter...
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 05:15 PM

Re: For Tina and Steph and those with cleaning freaks ....
Yoda (formerly Hans)
02/15/05 04:08 PM

HanSolo
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 05:27 PM

Re: HanSolo
Yoda (formerly Hans)
02/16/05 05:35 AM

Alicia
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 07:58 AM

Tina
Sheri01
02/15/05 07:50 PM

Sheri
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 02:30 AM

Just emailed you Tina
Sheri01
02/16/05 06:15 AM

I emailed you back Sheri!
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 08:03 AM

Tina, you've got mail! :-) n-t
Snow for Sarala
02/16/05 08:48 AM

Re: Tina, you've got mail! :-) n-t
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 09:27 AM

Re: For Tina and Steph and those with cleaning freaks ....
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 04:15 PM

Re: For Tina and Steph and those with cleaning freaks ....
Yoda (formerly Hans)
02/16/05 05:39 AM

Re: For Tina and Steph and those with cleaning freaks ....
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 08:04 AM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
Kimm
02/15/05 01:14 PM

Kim
Sara-Sage
02/16/05 08:09 AM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
melitami
02/15/05 12:39 PM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 12:56 PM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
Janey
02/15/05 12:38 PM

Thanks so much Janey -nt-
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 12:57 PM

P.S. Tina...
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 12:16 PM

Re: P.S. Tina...
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 12:18 PM

Re: P.S. Tina...
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 12:23 PM

Thanks SO MUCH Ruchie!!!!!!!! -nt-
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 12:25 PM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 12:08 PM

Ruchie
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 12:16 PM

Re: Ruchie
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 12:18 PM

Re: Ruchie
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 12:20 PM

Yes you should Tina! I hope you DO! n-t
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 12:28 PM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
ptillen
02/15/05 12:07 PM

Oh Paula...
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 12:24 PM

Re: Oh Paula...
ptillen
02/15/05 12:33 PM

Re: Oh Paula...
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 01:01 PM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
RachelT
02/15/05 11:59 AM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 12:02 PM

Re: Here's the story...any advice would be amazing...
RachelT
02/15/05 12:05 PM

Thanks Rachel -nt-
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 12:28 PM

{{{HUGS}}}
Linz
02/15/05 11:57 AM

Re: {{{HUGS}}}
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 12:01 PM

Re: Tina
mindyj
02/15/05 11:12 AM

Re: Tina
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 11:14 AM

Re: Tina
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 11:07 AM

Re: Tina
melitami
02/15/05 11:36 AM

Re: Tina
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 11:38 AM

((((((((((((Tina))))))))))))
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 11:52 AM

Re: ((((((((((((Tina))))))))))))
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 11:55 AM

Re: Tina
Kimm
02/15/05 11:30 AM

Re: Tina
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 11:35 AM

Re: Tina
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 10:59 AM

Re: Tina
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 11:07 AM

Ditto that!!
Nelly
02/15/05 11:05 AM

Re: Ditto that!!
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 11:09 AM

Tina, one more thing...
Snow for Sarala
02/15/05 11:54 AM

Re: Tina, one more thing...
Sara-Sage
02/15/05 12:03 PM

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