Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Oh Ruchie sweetie,

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. I am a little late replying because I haven't really had a chance to get on line all week.

From what I see of you on the boards you are one of the most caring, loving and positive people. You always have encouraging words to share with everyone to help lift spirits.

I have not experienced physical or verbal abuse so I can't begin to know what you are feeling. I can relate to a low self-esteem. I have had one for years. I have suffered from abandonment issues because my father left when I was 10. He was also an alcoholic, he died 10 years ago and my relationship was a little better at that time. My Mother is addicted to prescription pain medication and has been for many years. I do not have a good relationship with her.I used to do the right thing and call my mother and e-mail her and I finally decided that I needed to take care of myself first. I felt terribly guilty at first but after talking with a counselor I realized that I can't change who she is. It is ok to put yourself first. If you don't want to call your parents out of obligation then you don't have to.

Growing up I was so shy, selfconsious and had no confidence in myself. I always got very upset if anyone critisized me in anyway. I did have a need to please also and couldn't say no to people. I am much better now and seemed to somehow find my way. I will be 47 in April and it has taken me sometime to realize that it is ok to disagree with people, it is ok to do things for myself and it is ok to try new things and for people to not like me. My wonderful, outgoing, caring husband helped me. He has always stood by me and at times has even insisted that I try something new. I started going to college because he insisted. I always wanted to go but didn't have the courage to sign up. There are still times when I see a class or a situation and it scares me. I try very hard to overcome those feelings.

No matter what has happened to us in the past it helps make us stronger and the people we are today. I see nothing but love and hope in you. How lucky you are to have such a wonderful and understanding husband. Knowing you have his support makes all the difference.

I know the boards here would not be the same without you. We need your ability to bring sunshine to us all and your love and friendship.

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Janey

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