Here we don't have showers or pay for our own dresses. Bridesmaid organise the hen night (bachelorette party) and help out with the arrangements. The cost would be in days off to do wedding related stuff and cost to my sanity too! It'll just be odd to be there and see someone else doing my job that's all...and of course feeling inadequate on account of it and trying to explain to everyone why I am not doing it....