Sinéad,
I know you're in a very hard situation. First of all, it won't do you any good to tell your Mam what you think she should do. Just like it won't help telling your father what he should do.
Your Mam's in a difficult spot and it's not easy for some folks to leave a spouse, even when they're so unhappy. Just try to love your Mam as best you can, and let her know you care about her. She must care for you a lot to have kept her own problems hidden from you, to protect you during your own troubles.
And dad? Well, I'd sure play the avoidance game as much as I could. What else can you do? Just be there for your mother and your brothers. Try to get through Christmas as best you can. Wow, it's a hard situation.
There are alcoholics scattered all through my family. But, thankfully, the ones who are still living have stopped the nasty habit and turned their lives around. It can happen, but only when they've had enough of themselves. I also had a grandfather who never changed and he died alone in his apartment. Someone found him there. He had driven away his entire family. So sad, isn't it?
My grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer and her wish was to die in a bar with her bar friends. And, that's exactly what she did. Also, sad, isn't it?
I had another grandpa who quit drinking and changed and he became the light of my life. But, again, it's up to that person. Just love your family as best you can, and live your own life. Don't let anyone tie you down to their problems and hold you back from being who you need to be. Make sure you don't get too wrapped up in the problems of others to a point where you're not living your own life to the fullest. You have your life, and they have theirs.
And, of course, I'd say pray about it. Hey, it can't hurt!
Good luck to you,
Terri
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Re: Here we go again...family issues
