Okay guys. I told my manager last night (the PT job) that I had found a FT job and that I would be leaving! Now, this morning, I'm thinking I made a mistake and just want to run back to her tomorrow and tell her "never mind, take down the help wanted sign, tell the staff I'm really not leaving!" But I'm scared she might get upset for having to redo the schedule, take down the anouncement on the marquis, tell everyone I'm really not leavng (not to mention the embarrasement of changing my mind, like I'm a scaredy cat and everyone would know it). Oh what have I done.
The positive things about staying PT is that I could go back to school and get a degree in a field that would make some decent money, an amount that I would be able to live on. This new job (FT) does't pay much at all. It's about equivalent to the PT job added to the supplemental income I was receiving for disabitity (yes I was sick enough to qualify for that per my doctors help). The FT job would be more fulfilling and less stressful as I am not dealing with the public the entire time. And perhaps I should go off the disability. Though that is scary too.
With my low tolerance for stress, I don't think I could handle going back to school and working FT at the new job. And I might need to return to school if I ever want to have an income that would allow me to own a home, or take a vacation, or just not survive paycheck to paycheck. I have no idea what I would go back to school for. Perhaps something in Health Care or a Masters in something like school psychology. I already have my BA in psychology, but that isn't getting me anywhere! No computer skills!
Help me guys. I'm so stressed. I might have just screwed up everything. I don't know if I did the right thing and I don't know if it would even be possible to change anything at this point. Or if I really did make the right decision. The new place thinks they have me and the old place has begun the steps to replace me and has notified all the staff I am leaving.
Please anyone, advise me. I am really losing it today and now more than ever I need all of your help. I feel like I'm having a nervous break down. I don't know what to do. Like I said, the new job is not good pay, but I like the work better and everyone is nice. But for my long term goals, is it the right thing? Although the training I get in this new and the new skills I will learn may take me to a better job in the future.
UGH.  I need you guys. Please any help or advice. I love you guys and trust you. You are a smart bunch of cookies.
Gratefully
--------------------
~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Work decision UPDATE-losing it big time
