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Re: Advice needed - long post
      11/28/04 02:50 PM
Sheri01

Reged: 04/19/04
Posts: 1731
Loc: New Jersey

Yeah, if it is what you want you should DEFINATELY get outta there Tina! And that thing about staying in bed til 11:00, that is so f---ing weird! (excuse my languauge!)
I never knew things were like this for you! From someone that has been in a controlling, but not very physically violent abusive relationship, I really feel for you. It is really cut and dry, it seems, to know that your BF is abusive and to leave when he is hitting you, but if he is controlling your life in a non-phyiscal way it is hard to see.
HE is definately not right for you.

How much notice should you give him? When you are walking out the door with your boxes. Or after you have moved everything into your apt while he is at work. Leave himn a note. You can be humane about it, but if you give him notice he will make living with him H**l, and may try to talk you into staying, but you have your mind made up.
Don't feel bad for him. If he cannot afford to live without you, then it sounds like he is sponging off of you. He is horrible with money, so you have to be smart with your so he has somewhere to live?! That is Bulls**t.
This is curious, too, he has all the control, but he is more dependent on your for the money to live in the apartment? Sounds like you should have the upper hand and give him weird rules if you want. Just sounds weird to me.
Don't feel bad, people always land on their feet. HE will find somewhere to live if he can no longer afford the apartment you share. Or he will get a roommate. It sounds like yous have a lot of friends, someone will help if he needs it, but NOT you.
just one thing to beware of, he WILL make you the bad guy, and it may ruin alot, if not all, of your friendships in that inner circle you mentioned. So you have to be ready to deal with that if it happens.

Good luck to you, and be careful.
(one last thing- guys that are controlling, but not violent CAN turn violent, I have seen it happen, so again, be careful)

--------------------
-Sheri

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Entire thread
* Advice needed - long post
Sara-Sage
11/27/04 09:52 AM
* Re: Advice needed - long post
daliatree
11/29/04 10:54 AM
* Dalia
Sara-Sage
11/30/04 12:55 PM
* Sara
daliatree
11/30/04 04:03 PM
* Re: Sara
Sara-Sage
11/30/04 04:08 PM
* THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORTIVE RESPONSES GUYS!
Sara-Sage
11/29/04 04:08 AM
* I take it you're the one paying the rent...
XXXXX
11/28/04 06:35 PM
* Oh, just realized something...
Sara-Sage
11/29/04 03:56 AM
* Sara.........
Snow for Sarala
11/28/04 04:41 PM
* Re: Sara.........
Sara-Sage
11/29/04 03:58 AM
* Re: Advice needed - long post
AmandaPanda, J.D.
11/28/04 04:16 PM
* Re: Advice needed - long post
Sheri01
11/28/04 02:50 PM
* staying in bed...
cailin
11/28/04 03:24 PM
* Re: Advice needed - long post
*Melissa*
11/28/04 11:47 AM
* Oh, SO much to say on this one...
atomic rose
11/28/04 02:35 AM
* Re: Oh, SO much to say on this one...
Sara-Sage
11/28/04 11:30 AM
* Re: Oh, SO much to say on this one...
atomic rose
11/28/04 12:51 PM
* Re: Oh, SO much to say on this one...
Sara-Sage
11/28/04 01:03 PM
* Re: Oh, SO much to say on this one...
atomic rose
11/28/04 10:19 PM
* Re: Oh, SO much to say on this one...
Sara-Sage
11/29/04 04:05 AM
* Haha....
atomic rose
11/29/04 05:31 AM
* Re: Haha....
Sara-Sage
11/30/04 12:49 PM
* Tina
cailin
11/28/04 09:04 AM
* I like this idea.
Lefty1
11/28/04 09:29 PM
* Re: Tina
Sara-Sage
11/28/04 11:23 AM
* OH Gee...
barbie
11/27/04 03:39 PM
* Re: OH Gee...
Sara-Sage
11/28/04 11:37 AM
* Sara-Sage!
Stephie
11/27/04 10:31 AM
* Steph
Sara-Sage
11/27/04 10:56 AM
* Re: Advice needed - long post
khyricat
11/27/04 10:29 AM
* Amie
Sara-Sage
11/27/04 10:47 AM
* Re: Amie
khyricat
11/27/04 11:43 AM
* Re: Amie
Sara-Sage
11/27/04 11:52 AM
* Re: Amie
khyricat
11/27/04 12:01 PM
* Re: Advice needed - long post
Nelly
11/27/04 10:23 AM
* Nelly
Sara-Sage
11/27/04 10:37 AM
* Apartment
Nelly
11/27/04 10:49 AM
* Re: Apartment
Sara-Sage
11/27/04 11:01 AM
* Re: Apartment
Nelly
11/27/04 11:07 AM
* Re: Apartment
Sara-Sage
11/27/04 11:22 AM
* Re: Apartment
Nelly
11/27/04 03:33 PM
* Oh boy!!!
Sara-Sage
11/28/04 11:33 AM
* Re: Oh boy!!!
Nelly
11/28/04 11:50 AM
* Re: Oh boy!!!
Sara-Sage
11/28/04 12:51 PM
* Re: Oh boy!!!
Nelly
11/28/04 12:57 PM
* Re: Oh boy!!!
Sara-Sage
11/28/04 01:06 PM
* Re: Oh boy!!!
Nelly
11/28/04 02:37 PM
* Re: Oh boy!!!
Sara-Sage
11/28/04 04:15 PM
* Re: Advice needed - long post
heather7476
11/27/04 10:13 AM
* Heather
Sara-Sage
11/27/04 10:21 AM
* Re: Heather
heather7476
11/27/04 10:32 AM
* Re: Heather
Sara-Sage
11/27/04 10:45 AM
* Re: Advice needed - long post
Janey
11/27/04 10:08 AM
* Janey
Sara-Sage
11/27/04 10:16 AM
* Re: SS
Janey
11/27/04 10:27 AM
* Re: SS
Sara-Sage
11/27/04 10:45 AM

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