Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
Hey SS,
I left one I'd lived with for 6 months when I was 24. It was hard on him, but he couldn't say he hadn't seen it coming. I always figure a sharp ax is better than a dull knife, so I made arrangements in secret and did the physical moving while he was out.
Are you on the lease? If so you have to give 30 days notice to your landlord, or more for some. If you are on the lease and he's not, you can transfer title to him if he wants to stay (most landlords prefer that cos they don't have to do anything). If you are not on the lease and he is, you can leave anytime, which is what I did.
The easiest thing for me was not drawing out the breaking up period. You've been together for a while so he'll get emotional and have more time to try to get back at you if you draw it out. The best thing to do is leave physically imediately. Stay at a friend's or parent's. When it's over, it's over.
If it's not over and you just want to be treated better, you can handle it differently. Show him the brochures for the one-bedroom apartment. Show him the cardboard boxes you've brought home. Say as little as possible. (When one person talks a lot, the other one will shut up as compensation. Make him talk.) Ask him, "Are you going to be ok finding a place to stay? I want to know you're going to be all right." This will club him upside his sorry head. You just can't see yourself living under these rules any longer, and it's not a partnership anymore. Tell him so.
Well, whatever you decide, take your computer with you so you can have us close by. Good luck--
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Re: Advice needed - long post
