It is a week until I go into Philly with my husband, girlfriend Donna and her husband Jeff. It is about an hours drive from where I live if there is no traffic or accidents on the Surekill(those of you who live here know what I mean). I didn't make the plans, my husband did, in fact I have been pushing this trip off nicely by saying oh, I can't then I won't be home, etc., etc. My girlfriend has been wanting to go to this museum for a long time and I HATE with a passion the city of Philadelphia. I grew up in Allentown almost halfway between Phila. and NYC. so if I want to go to a city the obvious choice is NY, and I've for the most part always had a great time there. Growing up when we went down to the shore how did we get there? The PA turnpike and the Schukull, the two worst roads to travel on if you need a bathroom, and there is not much wooded area to use, and as a child guess who always did? Oh and my all time horror story, "Dad, I have to really pee, we need to stop," "Okay will be on the Schukull for 5 min and there is a gas station on our exit." Well, 5 hours later, yes another accident which blocked both lanes, I am in tears and sick to my stomach. Where we were I couldn't pee on the side of the road w/o falling down the hill. And the handfull of times I've been in the city, it has pretty much sucked, car broken into, etc. I think you get my drift. After my husband says to Donna we should go sightsee on Halloween weekend! I get in the car and say, I am not ready for this yet(I have a history of panic attack = ibs attack, see my other posts). He said I had a feeling. Now I am soooooo mad I could literally hit him! I can already feel the nervous nelly butterflies in my belly and tomorrow I have to hope and pray my GP will give me some valium for the trip! I just want to get off of Mr. Toad's wild ride and be done with this anxiety, in fact I want to take Mr. Toad's car and run over and over Mr. Anxiety!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and the last time I was for a car ride with Donna, I had panic attacks and had D in an antique store! Thank God they had a bathroom! I don't think she really knows my situation, she knows about the IBS, should I tell her about the anxiety? Yes, I am in counseling, and on nortriptylene 50mg and listening to the tapes for a 2nd time and have been having a good few months of anxiety free living, now this  Any suggestions are more than welcome!
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IBS-D
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Anxious and angry-long post
