The camping trip is in 2 days. Right now and for the past few days I've got gas, urge to go to the bathroom, and I either do or don't go. I'm eating everything I'm supposed to under the IBS diet regulation, and It just gets worse. I'm afraid to try anything new as I have a very short amount of time till I have to go on the trip, and if it gets worse...Thats it for me.
And it is not a fun thing to have Diarrhea in porta potties, with hundreds of people. Those things aren't exactly sound proof. My true fear is just getting there. I have to make a 40 minute or longer trip without going to the bathroom. That may sound easy, but if you are aware you have no escape, and you know that if anything happens your in serious trouble...Your body is just going to do what your afraid it might do. I take Immodium, and even Lomotil all the time, but that doesn't address why I'm getting worse, or why I'm doing so badly right now. And this time of all times...
My family doesn't understand in even the least. All they ever ever ever say is "They have bathrooms there".
I'm like GAH I DON'T CARE. They are public bathrooms for one, you have an attack of severe diarrhea with cramping and tell me how much you like being in a public bathroom. and second, its the trip up there. I'm trapped in a stupid car for like an hour constantly watching the time and trying to prevent my body from going to the bathroom. I get up like 6 hours early to get read for things, but now that they are actually going to leave for this thing around 6, I'm going to have to stay up all night. I'm afraid of this drive because a few weeks ago I went that way to my brothers wedding, I loaded up on all kinds of anti diarrheal pills, and when coming home, I had a very un-easy feeling in my stomach, the whole time. We ended up getting lost at one point, having to stop and 3 places, and that stretch of road was like 15 minutes long without anywhere to stop. If I feel like I feel right now on that road, I'm done for. I mean what would I do? Go on the side of the street? There is not one decent choice. I'm seriously terrified. I get no comfort from anyone, I'm completely alone with this, I'm so sick of the tests, and all these days leading up to this trip have been horrible. I really do hate my life.