vile, vile day. well, good till nighttime, when i ate an entire box of cinnamon twists. (those low-fat, low-calorie pastries. they're really good, but jesus. a whole box?)
i don't know if it's stress from the new job of what, but i feel a mess lately. last night i was in this strange, awful mood. not my usual sulkiness, more restless and frustrated than that. very weird. it's sort of carried over into today, but i slept some of it off.
in terms of diet i've been feeling crap lately, feeling like totally binging... coming from this weird frustrated foul mood, i think. it's just a general sense of 'gah!' if that makes any sense. not sure what to do. trying to get myself back on track. i don't know if i'm frustrated with feeling limited in what i eat - part of me wants to stop counting and just be 'careful' and work out. i also might be frustrated with not seeing any sort of results lately - getting down to 150 was so much easier than getting just two pounds below that. (i know weight is just a number, but still.)
i know i'm ranting and rambling. i just don't know what to do. for a while, i think the super-close watching of what i ate was functioning also as a good distraction from my crap work situation. now that my new job is taking so much, i don't have the drive. i want the drive back. i want to be thinner and healthier. but the frustrated slothfulness is getting really really strong.
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jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
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Re: REPORTING IN - 10/11/05
