Hey Ashley, I think we are really close to the same age! I just turned 24 on Aug 17th.  My metabolism kind of stopped within the last year or two, so I do have to actually pay attention to my weight rather than doing whatever I wanted and still being able to fit into my clothes. I just have to make sure I watch what I eat and I do fine. If my weight starts creeping up, I cut out the desserts and maybe scale back portions a little bit and make sure I'm drinking lots and lots of water.
There are a lot of threads popping up lately about how people feel like the rest of the world thinks that a size 4 or 6 is fat! I guess I have sort of a different perspective of this than others. I am 5'5" (and a half!) and I like to stay between 110-115 lbs. I'm not obsessed about it, and if it creeps up a little higher, that's fine, but I have a whole wardrobe of clothes that fit and I'll be damned if I shell out more cash for clothes because I can't make myself lose weight. The heaviest I've been is 125, and you could definitely tell I had extra flesh. I do think that everybody has a point where, at a certain weight, they've got extra flesh to spare, though obviously this doesn't mean they're "fat". The important thing is if you care or not. I am perfectly happy at my current weight. I know my thighs could definitely be thinner, but, well, so what? I've got more important things to worry about than measuring my thighs.
Clothing sizes are really deceptive, too. I buy the majority of my clothes in the junior's department -- bottoms 3/5 or S, tops S/M. But, if I go to the women's department and put on a size 5 or 6, there is room for an extra person in there with me. I hate buying clothes because the women's stuff is all too big and the juniors' stuff is too slutty. I want pants that cover up my butt, thanks! (another place that could be thinner...)
Anyway -- did I have a point? Oh, yeah. It's all about self-image. I sometimes feel like it's self-destructive to weigh yourself. Go by how you look and how your clothes fit. And you know what? I think it's OK to feel bad for gaining weight. It's just like feeling bad when you look in the mirror and see that Mt. St. Helens has erupted in the middle of your forehead. I don't think that it means you're giving in to society's ills for wishing you were a bit thinner. At the same time, being a size six is nothing to stress about, but you need to be happy with being a size six. Yeah, so maybe you don't weigh what you did two years ago. So what? Is that the problem, or is the problem what other people are saying about you?
I'm not of much help, I know, but I saw the pic from when you and Amanda were hanging out in NY and you looked fabulous. I bet that anyone who didn't know you two years ago would NEVER in a million years dream of saying something crazy like "when you were thinner"!
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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