blech. i don't know what's going on. i gave myself one free pass for a bad breakfast this morning (8/25 - this cheesy, eggy 'breakfast pizza' from whole foods), trying the theory of indulging the craving once rather than fighting it all day and overeating little by little with no success of stemming it off. it may have worked, because i am full (of bad things, of course), and all i can fathom eating for the rest of the day is fruit, water, and tea. of course, that'll change. but back to yesterday.
mini bagel
kashi heart smart oatmeal 1 c soy milk
1 c white rice tofu (1/3 package)
3/4 c apple cinnamon cheerios (dry) banana
roasted potatoes w/ ketchup
16 reduced-fat wheat thins 4 pieces dried papaya english muffin w/ soy cream cheese
1850 says the fitday.com. about 20 minutes of walking.
i think the little binge at night was emotional, as was the breakfast pizza this morning - last night i went to a (wonderful but angstful) play with this boy who i've liked for years, who dates girls who are my polar opposite, tiny blonde things with no brains or sense of humor, blah blah blah. you get the idea. and he's going back to school tomorrow, so last night was our good-bye after a lovely summer, and i was on donnatol so i was all spaced out, and now he's leaving the city. of course, as i was snacking my way around the kitchen, it *felt* like i was just still hungry... except for the english muffin. that felt like eating for eating's sake. i guess i'm still down from last night this morning. i probably ought to sit down with a friend and talk, but it's such an old story, me being sad about this boy, and i'm allegedly over him, have for a while claimed to be reconciled with the fact that we will always only be just friends. but he's a dear friend of mine, so even without the feelings i may or may not have for him, impossible happy endings i may or may not still be a little attached to, his leaving is sad... and then there's all this job angst... and i guess this leaves me realizing i may be a little more upset than i'd thought. un-upset people don't ramble on about upsetting things like i just did, do they?
but being fat doesn't make me feel better. so back on the wagon with me.
-------------------- jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
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