No bother with the length. I know mine was a bit long too but this issue along with IBS are very near and dear to me right now in my life so I tend to let my info spill. It seems like you certainly have had issues in your life that would lead you to your current feelings regarding your looks, weight, etc. and with IBS and the diet focus that only makes those issues worse. It is hard to deal with both issues at the same time but it is even harder to deal with one and not take into account the other. Our society and the unrealistic standards it makes us women feel we need to live up to can be overwhelming at times. I'll try to get you some good links to websites with good info on body fueling. Definitely don't get caught up with a number on the scale. If you take care of yourself (proper diet, exercise, low-stress, etc) you'll be doing yourself good in the long run and your appearance, feelings, etc. should reflect that. Try not to worry about what others say because their is so much information out there in the world today (and much of it incurrate and misleading) that people often form incorrect conclusions. It seems like your family has placed quite a burden on you through the years regarding your appearance even though you've likely been too thin. Please try not to hold yourself to these unrealistic standards and realize all the good things about yourself. In the grand scheme of life how important is a number on a scale or a few pounds here or there. The important thing is to feel good. I can relate to your story of growing up with your thinner sister though it sounds like you really were not that far from her and she may just have been too skinny as a child.....a bony look is never a healthy one. I have an older sister and she was always the thin (though a healthy thin not too skinny), pretty, girly cheerleading type where as a child I was the chubby, tom boy. Through hard work that I continue to this day (and struggles with eating disorders) I am no longing that chubby child but I live in fear of that on a daily basis (my healthy appetite doesn't help!). The IBS only adds to these issues though and makes eating more of a focus when I was trying to take the focus off of that in my life. Well I don't want to ramble on too much but just wanted to let you know that I could relate to what you had written. I'm sure we'll have more to communicate in the future and I look forward to it. Hope some of this is helpful or at least comforting to hear.