I feel like I'm back to square one again. Just as I thought I was starting to feel better, bam, I'm right back where I started.
I guess I'm just feeling a little sorry for myself today. I'm just tired of this. I began taking Zelnorm a month and a half ago, and it looks like its completely stopped working. I've started an SFS, and since starting it, I've been completely C. 
I've been eating right and drinking loads of liquids, but after 5 days of C I am in pain, bloated and just plain UNCOMFORTABLE. I just feel so limited and wish more than anything I could be *normal* for one stinking day. I'm tired of being 18 and not being able to do normal things with my friends like just going out and socializing. People encourage me to do them saying this will make me feel better, BUT I HAVE TRIED, I feel worse, and either bring others down with my unenthusiastic mood, or am forced to put on an act which to be honest, I just don't want to do.
I am frustrated that all my thoughts are focused almost 24/7 on my STOMACH. I hate that this is all I think about and feel so helpless for the majority of the time.
Most of the time I just want to be alone and by myself because I don't have any desire to socialize feeling as I am, but when I do so, my family says it is bad/unhealthy/annoying when I "hibernate" as they put it. Well, hello, I don't WANT to live in a little box...I hate it and the fact that I think about this almost every second I'm awake.
I'm really sorry for the vent but this is the only place I can express my frustration and wallow in my self pity without being judged too harshly for it. I'm trying sooooooo hard to fight the urge to just give up but I'm hanging onto a thread of hope that I might find SOMETHING that can help me. They say hindsight is 20/20 and I am starting to believe that whole heartedly. I didn't realize how lucky I was to have my great health before this all began...
Thanks to anyone whose reading this for listening to my vent. I truly appreciate your support.
--C
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SO frustrated....
