Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: help

thanks to all of you.

i'm really not keen on the idea of taking an anti-depressant, because i always have such horrible reactions to medication. even the lowest dose of bentyl made me woozy. :-/ i have a few bottles of different meds that i've tried for a few weeks and then just couldn't handle anymore. i think that's part of the problem... my meds made me so tired when i started taking them and i'd stay home way too much and now it's become a pattern, even though i don't take them anymore.

also, i have ibs-a, so basically when i have d i don't get enough nutrients absorbed and when i have c my body is tired from the toxins that are supposed to be leaving my body but aren't. so either one drains me out. ugh.

the feelings i have include: frustration, sadness, anxiety, anxiousness (not quite the same as anxiety... more like i feel like i want to do something and can't... like i'm waiting for something, sort of... restlessness), fatigue, low self-esteem, fear, and feelings of failure.

i feel like there is a BIG struggle between my mental and emotional capacities, and what my body will allow me to do. i feel like if i was healthy, i could take on the world, but i'm trapped in my house and wasting away instead. but somehow that still doesn't get me out the front door.

my boyfriend has been AMAZINGLY supportive. but everyone else that i'm close to lives at least a 16 hour drive away. and the poor man has to take all my venting and crying by himself. and i hate doing that to him. i just don't have a group of friends here. i had a few and they moved. and now i'm pretty much alone all the time. and since i'm a social person, it's really not good for me.

i've tried meeting people... i even went to a few different churches (even though i'm not a christian) just to meet some people. and i just didn't click with anyone. i made a few friends at work and then had to leave because of problems between me and my boss. it's just been so hard to make and keep friends, and i haven't had this problem before. it leaves me feeling lonely and frustrated and like i have a very limited amount of outlets for all these emotions.

thanks for listening/reading my extremely long post.

beth

Print Remind Me Notify Moderator