Hi everyone! I have some good news - YES, GOOD NEWS – that I wanted to share. I did something today that I thought I would never be able to do. I confided in a coworker!  We started talking & I told her all about my IBS. I almost came close to telling her twice last week. And guess what? She thinks she has it too! I couldn't believe it. She had a dr's appt. today after work (a regular physical) and she was going to bring it up in there. We sat there & talked for about 1 1/2 hrs! (We're really, really slow at work.) I told her all about the Heather books, this board, etc. She had no idea about any of the soluble/insoluble fiber, common triggers, etc. (Remember those days! LOL) Basically, we compared IBS notes.
It felt so good to tell her. I have to admit that sometimes when I know she's in the bathroom, it makes me feel like I have to go (we share the same one with 2 stalls), & then I get all freaked out thinking I have to go—sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. But then, sometimes as soon as she walks out, the feeling like I have to go goes away. I've actually driven home before to go. I only live about 5 min. from work. You would think if I could hold it for 5 min. to get home, I could wait for 5 min. for her to come out. *sigh* I think that maybe by driving home though I get a feeling of some control, because I'm doing something. Who knows...
I really don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, I should just get up & go. That's what the bathroom is there for, right? I don't know. I sometimes think I have a phobia about having a BM when someone else is in there. I've never heard anyone else talking about this, but I do know when I told my doc told about it, he told me this wasn't uncommon, so that made me feel less like a crazy person.
I think a lot of it has to do with I grew up as an only child with just my mom (my little sister wasn't born till I was 20). And I was always painfully shy. Couldn't tell that now could ya! lol I swear if someone told me 5 years ago I'd be discussing my BMs with strangers, coworkers, friends & family, I would have thought they were nuts! This IBS has really brought me out of my "shell" so to speak.
So, basically, the whole point of my story is I told her. I feel better, because I feel like now she knows what's going on, maybe that will ease some of my anxiety at work, especially in the mornings when I usually feel unstable. (Although Friday & today I felt better than usual...I think I may be onto something! I'm keeping my fingers crossed!) Not only did I tell her about the IBS, I told her about the freaking out when she goes in there, and she told me to just come on in and go, because she knows exactly what it's like. And, not only that, she feels like everyone knows she keeps going in there (me included--the bathroom is right around the corner from my desk), and so now she feels better that I don't think she's weird cause she's always going! Good grief! We're both nuts! LOL Anyway, she also feels better too, because someone else knows what she was going through. I have to say, she is the first person I've ever talked to in person that had IBS also (or at least thinks she does). I gave her a lot of info & gave her the info on Heather's books. She couldn't wait to go to the doctor with all her new info! I guess you could say we bonded! LOL
Well, I hope no one thinks I'm too weird now. But, I do believe that talking to her today & sharing it now is another step in the road to my recovery. And, not only did I help myself, I helped her too! 
Thanks for listening…
Oh, and I really do have the IBS, not just the "phobia". It's just another fun "side effect" for me. 
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