There is no way a little is beneficial. Can you get away with a little dairy and stay stable? yes if you are lucky but it is playing with fire. Dairy causes reactions in the gut that destabilize everything. When I am very stable I might cook with a little parmesan since it is low fat and very low in lactose, but I do it at my own risk in very limited, infrequent amounts. If you are looking for something to relax you, you have to change the mindset not add milk. Try ginger tea.
-------------------- IBS-A for 20 years with terrible bloating and gas. On the diet since April 2004. Remember this from Heather's information pages:
"You absolutely must eat insoluble fiber foods, and as much as safely possible, but within the IBS dietary guidelines. Treat insoluble fiber foods with suitable caution, and you'll be able to enjoy a wide variety of them, in very healthy quantities, without problem." Please eat IF foods!