I decided that it was all mind over matter and that if I decided to ignore it... it would go away... So now I am sitting here with a chronic anal fissure that has been aggravated by going back and forth between constipation and diahrea. I tried to convert to an IBS safe diet years ago, but as a stubborn totally Italian girl ... there was NO WAY in hell I was giving up my long time delicious tried and true family recipes... so I just kept on cooking and eating the way everyone else in my family and life does... and to be honest I dont want to give that up. I've tried a few IBS safe products and I did NOT like the taste. I just wanted to try to be normal. I figured if I put it out to the universe... I would get it. I don't want to do this... but now I feel like I have no choice. I am already feeling deprived... I want my morning Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla latte with skim milk. I want to have a drink with friends on weekends. I want to eat homemade spaghetti sauce with meatballs and pork. I want to eat red meat. I want to eat ice cream. I want to eat cheese... I cant even imagine a life without cheese... Land O Lakes American cheese sliced thin. Im absolutely disgusted with myself and with IBS and with NOT being a normal human being. And heres the rub... I have been eating bland for the last 4-5 days.. and my heartburn is acting up!!! I dont know what gives on that... but it was fine while I was eating like a regular person. I am taking Nexium and I am still suffering. Im just venting... but feel free to chime in to either chastise, console, sympathise or harrass me.
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I failed miserably to take care of myself & make changes.
