Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Advice needed....hello again

Hello everyone,

I have not been on the boards for about a month now and am still seeking answers. I am really getting scared because my wife is 8 months pregnant and I still am symptomatic. I was religiously on the diet for a year and the anxiety that came with it was not worth the benefits it was providing. I am quite confused and would appreciate if someone that is stable could answer some of the questions I was never able to answer. I am really scared that this illness will prevent me from being the father I want to be. At times I feel like this illness makes me act like I have never acted.

1. What is stable? Heather seems to infer that stable means to be completely asymptomatic but others on the board seem to think that it merely means the symptoms are more manageable. When I stick to the diet I feel confused because out of a week I will have 4 or five "good days" and then 3 or 4 that are "not good." Is this stable. Before I stopped the diet I would tell my wife that I was better but still not well. I told her that I felt like before the diet I was a parapalegic and after the diet I felt like I was hopping on one leg. Heather, anyone, can you please define what stable is or at least what to expect.
2. I am IBS-C and Heather says that IF should not be used to control constipated. When I slip into the bad days I get constipated and my hemorrhoids flare, which makes me extremely uncomfortable. I get shaky with blurred vision and extremely anxious with a feeling that I need to go but can't. When I get to this point instinctually I want to increase my IF but feel like I am not adhering to the diet and that I am attempting to control my C with IF. When I get to this point what do I do? I get so confused�increase SF, IF, etc?
3. How much IF do some of the stable people eat? When I felt better I would increase my IF and would be doing well with it and then I would feel guilty even if I wouldn't have symptoms. When I would increase I would get anxiety because I felt like I was going against the principles of the diet and not really know how much some people eat? If I get C when I increase does it make sense to cut back or increase my SF? This is very confusing to me.
4. Finally, I used to never stray from the diet. However, when I felt like it was no longer worth the effort because I was still symptomatic I resorted to the only solution I knew. I mentioned how I would get shaky and C with a feeling that my body wants to eliminate but can't. My eyes water and I get extremely physically anxious. As weird as it sound my solution became to eat trigger foods in extremely large amounts. I mean extreme amounts. I did it this morning and ate the following: soy yogurt, snickers bar, 100 grand candybar, 6 oreos, a donut, and six chocolate chip cookies. Keep in mind that I did not even touch a trigger for a year. Now because I don't know how to handle it when I get C for a couple of days I binge eat. The worse part��it works I will have a completely normal BM and will feel absolutely physically fine. This is not the way I want to be but it reinforces that thought that hides in the back of my mind that this is all in my head.

I would appreciate advice from those who believe they can steer me in the right direction. Heather, if you are out there I have asked your opinion before but you must not been on the boards those days. I have read both of your books, done hypnosis, and adhered faithfully to the diet but these questions continue to prevent me from living a happy fulfilling life. Please help me so that I may raise a child the way that I know I can when I feel well. I am in tears right now and would love to have these answered so that I may renew my faith. Thank you for your precious time, Andrew

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