I felt bloated and gassy when I first began adding soy to my diet, too. I had to do it a little at a time for my body to get used to it (it is made from beans, after all...).
Soy is now my primary source of protein (along with some fish, chicken, & egg whites), and it doesn't make me bloated at all. For milk, I use Soy Dream original classic or vanilla classic (chocolate enriched is good, too). I don't drink it straight, though, because it can be a little too much on its own. I use it every day in my cereal and in recipes, though. I just try not to go overboard with it.
I think many people think of soy products as safe and forget about the fat content rule. The absolute max for a safe meal or snack is 25% fat content (calories from fat / total calories = fat content %). I personally find 25% to be somewhat unsettling, so I try to keep it closer to 20% or less. Anyway, my point is that tofu and soy milk are not necessarily low fat! Looking at the stuff in my fridge, the tofu is 45% fat and the soy milk is 27% fat. If I had a full portion of either of them without sufficient low-fat, SF to accompany it, I would be sick, too!