Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

I haven't been diagnosed with agoraphobia, but the workbooks that I have all point to it.

Agoraphobia is the fear of having a panic attack/losing control/getting sick in places where you can't escape (think being stuck on the subway) or places where help isn't readily available. So something as simple as me sitting in a salon chair, waiting on line, being in a meeting kind of freak me out now 'cause I feel like I'm stuck and I can't get out should I have to. When I go to the movie theater, I make sure to sit in the aisle seat should I have to get out. Crazy huh?

Last December 13, I was at work and at about 10:30ish AM, I got D. I don't know where from but it happened. Then I started feeling nauseaus and was about to hurl but somehow I fought that feeling off. I left work and got on the subway (I'm only 30 minutes away from home) and I started feeling panicky and the D and nausea feelings came back--stronger each time. I wound up getting off 2 stops later and walked to my friend's job where I used the bathroom. He then accompanied me to my stop (8 stops) and throughout the train ride I was freaking out. I was crying and scared and he was trying to calm me down 'cause the last thing I want to do is be sick in public. It was my worst "what if you get sick and you're "so far" from from" nightmare. Once I got off at my stop, all ill feelings went away--as if it never happened. Looking back I now know that it was my mental self that was exacerbating it all. Since then, this feeling of getting sick when I'm not home trickled to just standing on line at the supermarket, going 2 blocks to the laundromat, going to doctors appointments, and even mustering up the courage to go down to my lobby to get my mail! (Think Sigourney Weaver in the movie CopyCat.) Thankfully, I haven't felt like that day since but I do get panicky when I feel any little flutter in my stomach or if I'm full of malaise and nausea 'cause I start to wonder how I'm going to make it home because I'm scared that it'll be a repeat of the 13th with less luck. See, I'm always full of negative thoughts! Just this Saturday my sister and I were at the laundromat and I had to leave cause I got super nauseaus. I hurried home, symptoms went away, and then I went back out again (I also felt bad for leaving my sis stranded with my stuff). I felt better but I was still fighting my insides.

I tell ya, something's gotta give!

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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...

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