OH...I hear you. I'm sorry you're feeling so down and out about the IBS. It does seem so unfair, right? When I first started out, believe me...I have NO willpower, but I kept telling myself not to feel sorry for myself b/c of what I have to give up b/c there are diabetics out there who cannot eat so many treats (that I still can) for more serious reasons (they could get REALLY ill instead of just feeling really ill and being stuck in a bathroom). That perspective helped a little when I was feeling "pissed off" (sorry...but that's the best way to put it  ).
A couple of things came to mind reading your post. The anxiety thing...it totally sounds like me when I enter a new situation like a gathering where I feel sort of "trapped" and not in control should I have a bathroom problem. I really suggest you try the hypno but also speak to your doctor about anxiety meds. The hypno will be long-lasting (I am one of those who probably could use another round but the one round did help some..it certainly can't hurt). And the meds...even if temporary...can help you with the anxiety-induced attacks while you stabalize based on the diet. When did you start following this diet?
The good news is that once you are stable (I'm not saying you can constantly cheat so please don't attack me everyone!), those foods that you desparately crave may be tolerable in just small quantities after a safe day or a couple of times/week. For example, a few bites of cake after a safe dinner or one "regular" cookie if you are out. I know that if I get too comfortable and do this too often, my body will tell me ....not by attacks...but just feeling a bit uneasy and then I remind myself that yes, this is a lifelong incurable thing. The problem now sounds like you are not yet stable and eating unsafe foods here and there is going to prolong that process. It is VERY difficult psychologically, I know, especially when you don't feel immediate results, but trust all the success stories from people on this board who have stuck it out.
Have you tried the acacia? And are you definitely avoiding coffee? I found that my biggest trigger and now I drink Soyfee with acacia in it in the morning...then have some oatmeal...what a difference in my mornings...360 degrees from when I used to have d and cramping, nervousness, etc. after breakfast, afraid to go out.
Don't give up and YES...FEEL FREE TO VENT WHENEVER AND ABOUT WHATEVER...I know for me it was helpful to vent (and I still do!) and just get some encouragement during the process from people who have been there and can totally empathise (sp?). I finally feel like I can do the everyday type things...never mind the big stuff which I have set goals for....without my d interfering and my anxiety incapacitating my every move. I wish the same for you.
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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Re: Deprivation Depression
