I wish I had a better answer for you--I'm not sure yet!
I'm doing some "sampling" at the moment. Some of them are very hard to swallow and others give me nausea/vomitting.
So far, I've had the best results with "Caltrate Plus" (the one with the vitamin D and the minerals) pills. I can split them in half, easily, which makes it easier to swallow. I don't get an attack/D--probably because it is calcium carbonate. Also, while there is a small amount of magnesium (to aid in optimal absorption of calcium), there isn't a HUGE triggering amount.
I suggest "trying" a few products. Also, make sure that your selection is IBS safe, i.e. lactose-free.
Good luck & should you find something successful, please share your news. I have just been diagnosed with osteoporosis and I am only 32 years old and have been ordered to take 1500mg of calcium (elemental), daily--OR ELSE!!!
Kate, IBS-D.
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