Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

I totally understand how you feel, I had exactly the same thing. I was with my boyf for 3 and a bit years and the main reason we split up was because he had no tolerance or understanding of my illness, he always made me feel like I was some kind of social outcast!
He wouldn't get why I wouldnt just go out for a curry and just put up with being ill afterwards or why if I was feeling really ill I didn't want to just sit in the pub whilst he got more and more drunk with his friends!
He would never go out of his way to try and help me or ease my anxiety's, I spent most of my time trying to hide my problems to be the 'normal' (his words) girlfriend he wanted me to be and when I tried to explain to him that maybe if he was a bit more understanding and helped me a bit more perhaps I could be all he wanted me to be, he said he couldnt be bothered it was too much hard work!! Well needless to say we eventually broke up, after yet another weekend of him acting like a selfish pig spending the weekend drunk in the pub, I told him I was no longer happy, he said he wasnt either and that was it!!
I cried and grieved for a couple of weeks, convinced myself that no-one would ever want me with all my baggage.
Then I found out one day that he was seeing someone else even before we split up! Suddenly it dawned on me what a prat I was being upsetting myself over someone who clearly didnt love or respect me anyway, took myself in hand and started making a future without him.
Well we split in february and in the 6 months since I have been on holiday for the first time in 18yrs (i'm only 24) having always been too scared to before because of my IBS, I've been going out every weekend having fun and dancing into the early hours, I no longer have to hide who I am or worry what someone else thinks of me and I've never been happier! I have my friends who love me for who I am, who dont make me feel awkward if I'm ill and who go out of their way to include me in things like lunches out and stuff and are just happy I'm there whether I eat or not.
I've realised I dont need to rely on one person who has no respect for me to make me feel that I'm an important worthwhile person. I've come so far without him, even just little things such as trying new foods, I was too scared before incase it gave me a really bad attack, then I'd be ill and the useless girlfriend again!
All I want to say is it hurts when a relationship ends, but if you look at it in perspective you realise that your worth far more than being grateful to someone for being with you! You will find someone who loves you for all that you are, who's priority is that you are happy and they will want to do all they can to make you happy, but in the meantime brush yourself off, have some fun and build your confidence back up and focus on you and your welfare. If you want a chat or some one to cheer you up and give you a boost you can always email me, its susieannah@hotmail.com
Keep your chin up babe x x

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