Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

I decided I just can't handle this anymore. After 22 years
IBS-D I just don't think I can hang on. So let's see, if I was a smoker, and couldn't stand the coughing and shortness of breath I would just say okay I am quitting, alcoholic, get into treatment, IBS-D, Shitting my brains out for 2 to 3 hours every morning, like delivering a child every day for two hours every moring for 22 years. Then dragging myself off the toilet and going to work, because I don't have a choice in that matter then going straight in the bathroom again for round 4. Well okay, I guess my only choice, since I just can't bare it anymore, is hummm.
I will just stop eating all together. Yeah thats it I will starve myself. I did that a few years ago, it was the best I ever felt in my life. I ate only a few times a week. Was nice and thin too. Yeah I know, that is really unrealistic and unhealthy. You know if I had cancer and was suffering so much, I might just decide to stop treatment and let nature call me to heaven. But you know I have been told I am lucky it is nothing serious. Well, I don't know about that, because the only way I know for sure that I can make it stop is to kill myself. That is the only thing I can think of. Of course I will not do this I am level headed and not crazy, but yes I am desperate, but I love my family so. But in honesty it is almost the only option to make it stop. So in other words I must continue to suffer daily forever until I die. Do you think this is an exaggeration. Well come sit with me in my bathroom and I will show you. I have thought of taking pictures so people could just see what goes on in there. Yeah so I ate some raw carrots last night. Yeah they were in that bowl like a slice and diced salad would be. So I guess you would say well that is your fault. Yes I have gone on the break the cycle diet for 6 weeks and gave up. Did it break the cycle, no, it interupted it a little but there was still daily misery. So yes one will say once again, it is my fault I didn't stick to it. Should I start it again, I suppose, but I can guarantee I will end up back here shortly. With all the pain for so long you would think I could just do this and continue to keep trying, but I will inevitably cave for sure, because I am human and I know basicly there is not much my personal body can eat with out adverse effects. Even recipes for safe snack bring bad reactions. Only toast has ever calmed things down, but brought insufferable trapped gas to negate the good. I tried ISF acacia but it brought on terrible rumbling and discomfort. Peppermint tea is the onley thing that I truly do everyday with pleasure. I know this is a poor me post, but. I truly just feel like I have given birth daily for the past week and am feeling week and defeated and sad and mad and I want to cry and feel like I want to die( but don't worry I won't) It just is all that I can see and all that I feel is dear God, please make it stop, make it stop make it stop. I beg will all my might to you to please make it stop.

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