Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: We still don't know what causes it, do we?

Thank you so much...there are so many factors. Who knows? Maybe it was the scary violent movie that I watched last night with friends and found rather horrible (certainly my subconscious wasn't pleased). But as a guy, I like to feel in control, and this ailment has led me so often to feeling out of control. I sat quietly a few moments ago and asked the universe if I could see IBS differently. What I got in my mind was "You are terrified, so very scared of IBS". I guess that may seem obvious, but I really had not seen it that way. I have been so very frightened. Then I got the feeling that I need to give that fear away to the deity of my choice, at least a little bit, day by day, and to make IBS more benign. For example, I have such stern rules. If I have "D", then it is a BAD day. Why? I can have "D" and still feel fine otherwise, so what makes it a bad day except a value judgment on my part? Yes, I have days where I am not really able to function socially, but I often can.

So, I am trying to redefine my relationship with this thing, this IBS, this so-called syndrome in a way that brings me more peace. The manly way of controlling it has not worked to my satisfaction so far (my partner in life says I remind him of John Crichton, trying to manage the entire Universe in Farscape).

IBS has been with me many years, so I am not new to it, but it is a newly humbling experience and (yes) it scares me. God forgive my silliness. As one old saying goes "Her complaints bespeak her privilege" (as she complains about her dusty diamonds, the peasants starve). I know I complain about IBS, whereas others routinely deal with much more life threatening ailments. But when we are each alone, it is still scary, and I can see why the ancients personified illness as demons. Wish Jesus was here to send this IBS into a herd of pigs (but where would I find a herd of pigs in this neighborhood? The Home Owners Association wouldn't allow them. Come to think of it, not sure what their policy on Jesus is either! There is a strict dress code to use the Golf Club Snack Bar).

You all are so helpful to me. Thank you again.

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