I admire how you're taking control of your life and evaluating your past experiences.! Being honest with yourself is probably the most difficult think to do. Something else that can be difficult for some people is to advocate for yourself. I know that you're a very spiritual person, and I think that taking care of yourself, as you would a friend or a loved one, and realizing that you, too, deserve to be happy and have some peace are ways to show respect for the life and body your G-d has given you. I hope I'm making sense...
My only concern is that you don't try to self-diagnose yourself at this point. I don't have much experience with abuse, so I can't say what is a normal reaction or not. However, I definitely don't see you as a freak! I doubt anyone else does either!