I tend to get REALLY happy and then REALLY low within hours--even less sometimes! My highs usually last 1-5 days or so. The depression can last weeks and months. I have friends who have said to me that I am very "up and down". I get moments of grandiosity where I make big statements or goals I can't possibly keep. And this has all been going on since I was a child And around PMS time I almost always feel VERY DEPRESSED and sometimes suicidal. While it DOES get better on non-PMS times...it does NOT go away. And it can be just as bad on non PMS times...it is just VERY consisten then.
As for spending money and the overly sex interested parts...not so much. I HAVE called friends excessively and run up phone bills. And I have bought things MANY times that could not be afforded just to have them and then return them
I'm just a freak!
After the pyschologist mentioned going to a psychiatrist to be evaluated...I took a LONG look at my life. I do NOT want to be like my mother. I want to raise kids in a SAFE world where they can come to me and I will be there for them. This means having to be REAL and HONEST with who I am...and that might be someone with a chemical imbalance. I don;'t want tht to be the truth...but this is making come to terms with the fact thatthere IS something wrong here. Bipolar or not, am I right, this is all not normal? Being suicidal, anorexic and then overeating, depression, highs/lows. 13 clubs in college and extra classes, etc.? (Then again...being abused is not NORMAL! What do I expect?)
Thank you for supporting me...PLEASE send more encouragement. This is VERY hard stuff *hugs*
Love,
Ruchie
P.S. I THINK I should have posted this in the Living Room. I wrote this late at night during an episode and I was not thinking clearly. Sorry for posting in the wrong place
Posts
More on my "moods"...encouragement please!
And around PMS time I almost always feel VERY DEPRESSED and sometimes suicidal. 
While it DOES get better on non-PMS times...it does NOT go away. And it can be just as bad on non PMS times...it is just VERY consisten then.
