Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

I know, I know... The days I go out I feel MUCH better, even if I am bloated or with a tummy ache. Days like today I wake up and just don't know why I'm awake... I just want to go back to sleep all day long because I plan nothing for myself. I am the kind of person who used to be so busy and social that I would get depressed if I had one Saturday with nothing to do, and now I have months and months until I MAY start graduate school, if I'm even feeling up to it! I went to my best friends' graduation 2 days ago, and really didn't want to go, but I got into the best mood, was dancing, singing, talking to everyone... But I ate too much that night and came home bloated like crazy and woke up yesterday sick. I find that having a really good day makes my bad days really really bad.
I worry about uping my Lexapro because I think (but it's so hard to know!) that I may have started going to the bathroom a lot more when I started taking it. I am only taking 5 mgs, I don't think that's enough at all. Should I just bump it to 10? I know I totally have classic depression- i don't find joy in what I used to or even really have the energy or motivation to try and get out of this! I have a guy who really cares about me, which used to be the most important thing in life for me, and I don't even care that much... I'm just really in the thick of it. Sometimes I feel like I could get out so easily, on my good days when I am strong, but on my bad days... I feel so stuck! And the ironic thing is I don't even have IBS as bad as most people on here! I've made it much worse myself by really limiting my food intake, but not on purpose, just from fear...
Anyway thanks for reading all of this and thanks so much for all your wise words- you are amazing!

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