...over here "I can't believe it's not butter" is made with buttermilk, ie. dairy! I use soy margarine sparingly instead of butter. Obviously, the fat content  can still be an issue!
As Amy says, lactose-free milk doesn't help IBS. It's only a few people who can tolerate the whey and casein...and you should give yourself at least a good chance to get stable before you experiment.
And yes, you DO have to check all labels. Many soy cheeses containcasein for example. While you're stabilising, you need to avoid all these triggers. However, when you are stable, you can experiement to see how things affect you - some people are okay with the amount of casein in occasional soy cheese for example.
So yeah, you have to avoid ALL dairy (inc. whey, casein and usually lactose as well) ideally until you're stable at least.
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Fyi...
