Nugget - forgive me if I am being too intrusive. You shouldn't let your Mother get to you like that. She simply HAS to understand that you can't devote all your "holiday" time to just your family. Since you live in the same hometown - I can relate. Both sets of parents live in our town too. What we do is split up our time. IE - Saturday we spent all "fathers day" with my hubby's family and Sunday we spent all day with my family. OR on things like Christmas, we have lunch at one place and supper at the other. We try to negotiate with both Moms which is best, and then go that route. Since your Mom insists on having it at her place, then perhaps suggesting that you split your time - that way both sides of the family get some time.
Don't you just hate the guilt tripping that Moms can do? It makes me crazy sometimes. Don't fall for it. Just firmly say you're doing the best you can and you're sorry, but everybody needs to compromise a bit to make it work. As for the children thing - you have no reason to feel guilty. Was it in your wedding vows that "thou shalt produce a grandchild for thy mother"? NO! That's selfish of her to expect that. She should be content with your being happy. If she isn't it's her problem - NOT yours. As for your brother - I'm with you there too, sweetie. Both my hubby and I have younger brothers who are single, and fancy free. No house, no wife. It's not your fault. Your brother is choosing to live his life the way he wants - HEAVEN forbid if it isn't the same as what your Mother envisioned. TOUGH. That's her problem, too. I always found before we had kids that since the brothers were single, it put even more pressure on us to have kids. We literally got home from the honeymoon and my Hubby's Mom said to hurry up with the grandkids because SHE wanted them while SHE was still younger. @#%#^? How's that for putting it bluntly? You can't control what your Mother thinks or says. You can control how you react to it. Take care of your health and IBS. Don't let this silliness get to you. How's that saying ... don't sweat the small stuff? Hugs.
-------------------- Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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