I think you would be suprised if you explain it right! I think the key is to make sure you word it right so she doesn't feel she is being accused or attacked. Not that you would do that on purpose, thats why I suggested the letter and card. You can word it just right instead of blurting out things in the heat of a discussion. With my mom, I try to say things like, I'm sure I'm being overly sensative but it really hurts when.....Or, start off by saying how much you enjoy spending time and holidays with her, maybe bring up a funny family story or tradition then say how its hard for you to miss some of these things but its not fair to make you husband miss all his family gatherings. Maybe invite both moms to lunch a couple times a year to discuss holiday arrangements. Try alternating holidays and years, we will spend this turkey day at there house and the weekend at yours, and next year the other way around. That seems to work well with my family.
I hope I haven't over stepped the bounds of advice, I just have a lot of the same issues so I can relate. Good Luck
-------------------- Taking it one day at a time.....
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Re: Does anyone else have a family member who is a trigger for your IBS?
