Welcome to the boards! You've come to a really great place for advice and support. With regard to soluble fiber, I've never tried Benefiber as I tried Acacia and found I was allergic to it (a very rare thing, apparently). Anyway, I think I remember reading that Acacia is cold water soluble, meaning it might not dissolve so well in hot liquids - but I am not sure about this since I didn't take it more than a couple of times. Personally, I use Citrucel powder and that seems to work for me. You say you have gas, so you would probably want to stay away from Metamucil which has psyllium (sp?) in it and is known to cause gas in some people. For gas and bloating, fennel tea is really good. If that doesn't do the trick, I take 1 or 2 Gas-X.
It took me awhile to get used to soymilk, but now I love it  My favorite kind is Silk Vanilla - the Silk Chocolate is also good for a treat. For a calcium supplement, I take Caltrate and have not had any problems. You might want to read this from Heather's newsletter articles "The Seven Sneaky Deadly Sins of IBS" Vitamins .
Hope this helps and good luck 
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Re: New here with questions...
