Observation: 9 times out of 10, I wake up in the morning feeling FANTASTIC. I mean, seriously. I literally bounce out of bed, get a drink, and for the first hour I'm awake, I'm fantastic. I even get hungry. Then I eat breakfast, and the rest of my day is downhill from there. I felt spectacular this morning - gorgeous day, bright and sunshiney mood, actually hungry - then I ate toast and fruit, same thing I eat every morning, and WHAM - I'm nauseous, shaky, and I feel horrible.
WHY am I getting so freaking nauseous all the time?? It was suggested that it's because my stomach is empty, but I eat and I feel WORSE. I thought maybe it was gas, caused by eating too fast, so I forced myself to slow down, and that made no difference. I get really nauseous before I have a BM, and I'm so nauseous for the entire day AFTER I have one that I typically don't eat, because I just can't bring myself to do it.
I used to think that the D was my biggest problem, and that if I could control that, I'd be happy and get my life back. Wrong! I haven't had D since the middle of July... but the nausea won't go away, and in fact, it seems like it's getting worse. I'm afraid to add anything new to my diet, and I'm scared half to death to even take any of the medications my doctor has given me, because all of them have nausea as a side effect. That's all I need - to make my worst problem even worse.
I can't live like this. If this is what the rest of my life is going to be like, I don't even want to be alive anymore. I realize there are people even right here on this board who have worse problems than I do, but I'm just sick of fighting. I've been dealing with this nausea since I was 7 - my other symptoms didn't kick in till later - and I've never had any relief. Oh wait, yes I did. When I was an alcoholic and a drug addict, I felt perfectly fine. Argh.
Maybe it's stress, I don't know. I'm under an extreme amount of stress right now - I don't think about it consciously, but maybe my body has just gone haywire because of it. It's just really frustrating. Heather's diet/plan/advice has been a godsend in a lot of ways - I NEVER thought I'd be able to eat and not worry about D! - but I feel like I'm never going to really be well again, you know? I will ALWAYS have stress, and if this is how my body reacts to it, then I'm ALWAYS going to feel like this. That's really depressing. 
PS - I wish ginger worked on me, but it doesn't. Phooey.
Oh yeah... and I know I still have some tests to be done on me, and maybe that will show up something, but I have to wait at least another month for that. Argh.
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Nausea and my sanity (ranting)
