Barbara, girl I feel for you. I raised two boys, the oldest was ADD, he also was and still is a little hard headed. HE came out good, he is a great dad and has a great job.
I don't know if what I am going to say may help you, but you can take what you want and throw the rest out.
He has to understand who the BOSS really is, and he has to know it is not himself. When he misbehaves, has a smart remark or two, and is just a little pain in the butt. IT is time for life as he knows it to stop! I have a friend, her daughter looses the luxury of playing with her dolls, xbox, favorite toys, EVERYTHING. When her mouth gets too smart, or she is just totally rude and disrespectful of everyones feelings. She has to work to get the chance to have even one thing back. OH, her mom takes it all away from her and puts it away into another room. Her behavior dictates how she is treated, sometimes the girl does whithout a lot of her things. At the same time, she has to work around the house also (she is 10, she does her laundry, her moms laundry, she has to clean the kitchen after meals. She has to sweep, inside and outside.....the list goes on and on, the longer she has to do chores depends on her attitude and behavior. As long as she is busy, she doesnt have time to mis behave.) You would be amazed at the attitude change, I think it is a great idea, its kind of like a tough love sort of thing.
One more thing Barbara, he has to understand that he can't speak to you and your husband disrespectfully. That has to be taken care of before he grows older, the older he gets the worse it will become.
IT is so hard to be a parent, and be a strong one at that.Children crave discipline, I cant explain it, but I have seen it with my own children and grandchildren.
Be strong, this is a hard road, some of this stuff may help you, and hope you haven't been offended by any of it. ITs just that I have seen other use it, and it works.
Good luck Barbara. Let me know how things go with Alex, I saw his pics and he is a cuuuuuuute kid.
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