Don't worry... it's not all that bad.  Start off by going to the studio you're thinking of, and just having a look around. Most shops will have portfolios out - books of photographs of work their various artists have done. Look through them, check out the quality of the work. Next, kind of look around the shop itself. Does it look clean? Nobody's lobby area is going to be spotless, but if there's trash laying around, that's a bad sign.
Don't be afraid to ask questions... and definitely don't be afraid to tell them it'll be your first tattoo. If they know that, they'll likely volunteer a lot of the information you'll need to know. Besides which, you'll get a good feel for the "attitude" of the place if you chat someone up a little. Personally, I'll walk out of any studio that I feel isn't treating me with respect as a customer.
By the way, the worst tattoo I ever got was at the busiest shop in town. Getting lots of business does not necessarily make them GOOD. LOL You definitely won't insult anyone by asking questions - although seeing a portfolio should give you a really good idea of what an artist is capable of.
Studios differ on how they handle custom work. They might want to draw up the design and have you come back. Some artists will draw something up on the spot. Be prepared, with photocopies/sketches/printouts that will help them draw exactly the design you want.
I don't know if this even really answered your questions... I'm just kind of rambling, hehe.
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