Well, Girlfriend, your story mimics mine. I've posted my story here before, so I won't go into it again -- except to add the following:
Yes, I came from a dysfunctional family as well. My mother was jealous of me as a child, for some reason which I never figured out. She mentally abused me and beat me with a wooden paddle whenever I stepped out of line.
My two brothers were her pride and joy. She paid a lot of money to put my younger brother through college -- 10 years of it -- but when it was my turn to go, they couldn't afford to send me. I had to get a job and pay them rent while my brothers went to college. When I got engaged and set the date for the wedding, they informed me they could not afford to give me away -- so I did it myself, the best I could, with my fiance's help and that of his parents.
My father adored me, but she must have resented it because she made his life a living hell; when I was older he wrote me and asked me to please make "nice-nice" with her so she would lighten up on him. I loved my father dearly and would do anything for him -- so I did as he asked. When he died, that ended "nice-nice" with my mother. She cut me out of her will, and wrote me a letter telling me so. It didn't phase me; I was relieved to be rid of her.
She did a great job raising her two beloved sons; they turned out just like her!
I am estranged from my so-called "family" and have been for a very long time. I don't even know if they're still alive.
I returned to Maine to visit my daddy's grave, but it was too difficult for me. Here's that part of my story: web page
While I miss my older brother very much, I had to do what was best for me. I'm proud that I had the guts to do it. There is no excuse for mental abuse; being a family does not give you a reason to be abusive. I thought a family was supposed to be loving and kind, but I was wrong.
You're right; I do not have a family. I never had children because I was born with a genetic defect which left me sterile. I have a marvelous husband who's my best friend and never abuses me. HE is my family now. While he's extremely healthy -- much more than I am -- he's ten years older than I. Don will be 70 in November.
Yes, I worry about dying old all alone. But I would rather suffer that fate than live the rest of my life with people who mentally abuse me under the guise of "family" while thinking it's perfectly normal. I tolerated it when I was a child, but I am no longer a child and refuse to do so any longer. I choose instead to live out the rest of my life with people who truly care about me. And if it turns out in the end that there are none, then so be it.
Thanks for your post, Sheri.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Hi Sheri
